By Your Side

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Lyric Of The Day:

Automatic (automatic echo x3)
Automatic (echo x3)
You’re automatic and your hearts like an engine
I die with every beat
You’re automatic and your voice is electric
but do I still believe?
It’s automatic every word in your letter
The lie connects the beat
It’s automatic when you say things get better
but they never…

Automatic - Tokio Hotel

To sum up today in one word it would be DEPRESSING. I'm so depressed now i think my heart's gonna stop beating at any time. Ok. Maybe that's a bit exaggerated but whatever.

Why can't people just say what they feel? If you hate somebody just say so. I don't know bout other people but i'd appreciate it if people who hated me just said so instead of playing mind games.

If it was me i'd just say so. Don't think about the consequences and don't look back. Just go. Life won't last forever so i won't waste my life away by living a lie.

I suppose i'm rather a hypocrite though. Even though i say that i don't think i have the guts to confront you, whom i think. I mean KNOW hates me.

Where did i go wrong in believing that friendship CAN last forever?

I didn't believe in that last time but now i do think that some things were meant to last forever. I'm so confused now i can't study. The world is spinning round and round like a roller coaster ride - BLG

I wish i had the guts to just ask. You can deny it but i suppose in our hearts we know the truth.. Jun Xi, you're too positive sometimes.

And please please please someone just give me a sign. I know its too late to pray for a miracle and i'm sincerely sorry for whatever wrong i've done. Is it too late to get an explanation now? Like you said i would tell my kawan baek but she's the one who told me.

I don't categorise my friends. Friends are friends. There's nothing different at all. I love my life, my family, my friends and i'm not being conceited. I'm just grateful for this life i have been given. Life's too short to spend on worries.. So i just want this all to pass like the wind.

There’s no real love in you
There’s no real love in you
There’s no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you

Today is AUTOMATIC coz perhaps there's no real love in you towards me but i probably will still think of you as my friend... And i feel so impeccably lesbian now..

It’s so automatic calling comes from the crossroad
They come and go like you
It’s automatic watching faces I don’t know
Erase the face from you

I wanna forget that this whole thing has happened. Just close my eyes and listen to my heart stop beating...

Whats done is done. I just wish i could understand what happened. How am i to move on when the past won't let me go?

This isn't even the ending of some depressing state of my life. Its just the starting.

Each step you make
each breath you take
your heart,
your soul,
remote controlled
This life is so sick
You’re automatic to me

Maybe this is the way life is. I'll just wish for the best and wish that somehow i can turn back time to erase the wrongs i've done. If it hadn't turned out this way, would our friendship still be ending or whatever is happening now? I have no idea what to think.

This is so confusing but i think after a sleepless night and a restless day i've come to accept the fact that i can't stop you or anyone else from hating me. I never can and all i can ask of the people who hate me (does this count as perasan? ) to just tell me.

I don't wanna live a lie. That wouldn't even count as living

It’s automatic
Systematic
So traumatic
You’re automatic

Monday, October 12, 2009

And since Adeline claims the TRUTH sounds fake then what do you want me to do?? Lie??

Anyways. Just to show how i regret having a twisted sense of humour, i shall express myself with a song.

Like i always do =)

JUST BECAUSE - RAYGUN

I guess I think about think about doin a line.
But the last time i promised myself
it would be the last time,
Remember that time when i was green
the deepest colour or you bleeds

I felt that colour in my head.

Ooh right before she said

Just because you can,
It doesn't mean you should.
Oh just because you can,
It doesn't make it good.

Oh you been down, you been down, you been down,
you been feelin down..
Every time you bleed you always come around.
Remember that time you looked so good,
We knew that we could do and we knew we should,
I felt that colour in my head
Oooh right before you said

Just because you can

it doesn't mean you should
Just because you can
it doesn't make it good
Just because you can
it doesn't mean you should
Just because you can

I felt that colour in my head (4x)

LOL!! I really love this song so. I think its right,
just because you can, doesn't mean you should *winks*

OK. Wasting precious study time, i;m gonna now explain for bjablue (i think this code name thingy seems so fun!! in a way. anyways. being serious.)

now

bjablue. started from a girl's older sister, who, went she went to the toilet and left the computer viewing Ashley's blog, decided that she didn't like these people and thus said something like i wanna kill you bitch or something like that. I can't remember

It went on that she bloghopped to our dear "Guest's" blog. And decided she didn't like her too so she commented. This went on for quite something before the innocent lil sister found out.

After scolding her sister she told her to stop but her sister went all " so u don't want to defend your sister? where's your family pride?? i won't let you use my phone anymore! forget getting my help in your studies or anything! they're so rude to me!!!"

And she felt bad and said "okok. but only coz i find it funny"

And she said "ok. don't forget to act perasan. it pisses people off"

So bjablue passed through one to another. It was really funny actually *laughs*

THEN

she started to enjoy acting so conceited and all coz it was actually reallyyyyyyy funny when you think about him form her point of view.

She couldn't really stop laughing when she thought about it coz it was REALLY FUNNY ok??

Well, maybe she has a twisted sense of humour but if you really think bout it from her point of view it was reallly funny. Especially when they kept suspecting other people.

So. Yeah, it was a joke

And i do NOT hate them. I do NOT hate anybody because its bad for the soul. And i'll keep mine pure thank you very much

And if you won't accept this explanation, i can't do anything bout it. Just move along move along like i know you do

I own't care anymore =)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sometimes i honestly think people can't take a joke =.= or maybe i just have a twisted sense of humour...

Then again, tip to self: don't listen to your sister and don't bother standing up for her when people are insanely rude.

=.= uh huh.

And i'm just sooo stressed bout exams not i do NOT feel like blogging at all. In fact, i shall now stop before i lose my sanity by doing who knows what.

....... i am so not gonna get good results for this exam ... which basically means my life will be over soon because i'll get loaded with even more tuitions than the ones i already have...

Adeline call me soon so i can ask you what time you're coming tomorrow =) And i think i don't really want to see my old school mates =.= they hate me and i hate them. Its a people thing

Monday, October 5, 2009

Lyric Of The Day:

Tonight my head is spinning I need something to pick me up I've tried but nothing is working I won't stop, I won't say I've had enough Tonight I start the fire Tonight I break away

Break - Three Days Grace

I just wanna wish

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE CHOONG!!

Even though i'm not all that close to you but i'm sure we'll be one day =p But you're really friendly and nice so that's awesome *winks*

Anyways. i noticed there have been tons of spammers lately like in Ashley, Deanna and Lyn Dee's blog. Which is pretty weird to me. Whose so free as to do that anyways??

And Adeline, please stop complaining about how you so called dunno-how-to-do!!

And i'm not pressuring you to. I'm just giving advice. That's all. I happen to think your presentations and such aren't hard at all =.= So stop complaing and NIKE! Just Do It

Break away from everybody
Break away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places

And today Ann Lee asked me who started the Martin craze... Hmm.. i like to think of it as me i suppose? Haha. I don't know. But its ok as long as they're getting more fans so technically i'm spreading the BLG love. Which is a good thing. I know i'm not promoting Three Days Grace enough though >.< style="color: rgb(204, 204, 255);" size="5">Humanoid came out already, I'll be learning all those German songs so watch out!! Haha. Horrible singing in German heading your way!! =p

And i absolutely love BREAK by Three Days Grace. And i'm gonna post the lyrics too. Which are uber meaningful so i hope the few readers i have (or maybe not at all?) like it and thus become avid fans of 3DG =D

Break away from everybody
Break away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places

Higher places
To higher places
Higher places
Take yourself to higher places

Peace.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Lyric of the Day:

That I don't ever wanna be like you
I don't wanna do the things you do
I'm never gonna hear the words you say
and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be

You...don't wanna be just like you
Oh what I'm sayin' is this is the anthem, throw all your hands up,
you... don't wanna be you

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

So. I was just crazy just now. The Junk pic got to my head.

VIEW THEY'RE JUNK WEBSITE HERE ----> JUNK

And even though my pic isn't in it but i'm on they're website!

Junk magazine is ok except it focuses on local stuff a lot so its prob good for people like Bo Kang and such.

And i just really love BLG...

Sigh. I don't need to promote my love coz everyone knows its true

If not why would i take the effort to join competitions and be fated to meet Martin?? To hear their album one month before the actual release dates??

Because real fans can do anything for them.

And i'm proud to say that i am a true fan of all those bands i proclaim to love, because i don't see the point in pretending to like something i don't. And i won't fool myself into going with the flow either.

The first Good Charlotte song i ever heard was The Anthem. And the lyrics mean a lot to me, at least. I think its so true and it has always been the song to which my life refers to. Other than a few other songs like Minority (Green Day)

And i think everyone should love their life, love themselves, love that they are who they are. I know i do.

Everyone is special. If not to someone else, then at least to themselves.

Do i suck? Then whatever. I think, i mean KNOW, that i rock. And i'm not even being conceited. I'm just loving myself to the fullest.

What will i be if not myself?

Do you really wanna be like them, do you really wanna be another
trend?
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?
'cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be

Loving Life,

Ling Hui
(who rocks in her opinion, but if you think she doesn't, she doesn't give a damn either way)

You...don't wanna be just like you
What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem throw all your hands up,
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me, you, don't wanna
be just like you (just like you)
This is the anthem throw all your hands up, y'all got to feel
me, sing if you're with me
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem

Listening to LIFE STARTS NOW and HUMANOID came out!!! Downloading it now. illegally but who cares anyways?? Its better than not getting it and i couldn't find Tokio Hotel's album at all despite the various Rock Corners i've gone to in search of it

Sigh. Anyways. I got my copy of JUNK magazine today!! And Galaxie. I've become quite addicted to reading magazines lately. But i only buy those that have Boys Like Girls in it. I even bought that Malay mag. Haha

Anyways. I am going to recount my awesome experience with BLG. Sigh. Martin. Said I LOVE YOU TOO to me!!!

And he put his arm around me with his hand on my waist!!!

*screams*

And i talked to BLG

And they answered

And

And

I MAINTAINED EYE CONTACT WITH ALL OF THEM!!

AND I HUGGED MARTIN!!

TOOK PICS WITH THEM!!!

LIKE ALL TRUE FANS DO!!!

*SCREAMS*

AND THINKING BOUT IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

I CAN'T BREATHE

so i better stop before i die before i marry Martin

Saturday, October 3, 2009

ONE-X

Finally someone listens to my awesome music advice......

And that's Eu Win, who, surprisingly will be joining the Three Days Grace Street Team soon.

BECAUSE

HE IS A HUGE FAN OF THEM AND LOVES THE SONG PAIN!!

YES!

I HAVE SUCEEDED IN PROMOTING THREE DAYS GRACE

I got them a new mega fan *smiles proudly*

And i know that Eu Win absolutely loves them. He's prob admiring Adam Gontier now.

I feel so saintly now. Good deeds do make you feel better

OHMIGOSH LOOK AT HIS MUSCLES!!
IT'S CHRIS CARRABA!!! THE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL SINGER!! THE SINGER OF STOLEN, HANDS DOWN ETC AND ALSO A BANANA REPUBLIC MODEL!! (no surprise there) *winks*

I kinda like, i dunno. Hate everyone now?? ok. Maybe not but i am just in a super crappy mood coz i just practiced my piano for almost one hour =.=

And, it's like. What is my teacher's obsession with Clementi??? I know Clementi sounds nice and all, but i've been doing so many of his sonatas i'm gonna go mad. MAD.

And

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM LYN DEE & KHAIRUNISSA!!!
Khairun and i have been in the same class for the 7th year now. Except we didn't talk at all (i think) for the past 6 years but now she's totally part of my life and i can tell her tons of stuff. For one, she doesn't mind listening to me go on and on about "stuff" *grins*

And i just met Lyn Dee this year. She's a former SriKL-ian but she isn't stuck up or anything. I n fact. Lyn Dee's totally sweet and pretty =) Plus, she's my 4th wife. So happy birthday wifey!

Annddd i have decided that i'm not gonna freak myself out over my piano and all and guitar and blablabla coz everyone knows that stressing out and getting mad only causes wrinkles and kills your blood cells.

And i don't plan on growing old so soon. Though i wish just for 1 day, i could be 21 so that i can see BLG.... but its ok. I'm gonna marry Martin anyways. And he can sing for me all the time then.

Coz we've already been fated to be together and its already written down in our destiny that our lives should be forever intertwined and our fiery passion will keep us walking down this thin strand of life we call...well, life.

The point is we love each other into all eternity. *sighs*

Not like all those dumb retarded omg-mart-in!! fair weather fans. Who's the one who slept at 3 am just coz she was screaming and jumping up and down rewatching HeroHeroine more than 40 times and admiring Martin's sexy ass, sexy thighs, sexy mouth and whatever. You get the point. Martin has a perfectly cute ass and we're all jealous. Moving along.

My kids names (they will be twin boys. because boys in a band are just sexxxaaayy) (i feel horny now =.=)

And

the first will be GERARD MARTIN WAY and MARTIN BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG KAULITZ WAY. =D Obviously i haven't perfected the second name yet, But i'll get it in time. Anyways. (see the WAY?? haha. being lame)

I don't want them to have lousy chinese surnames. So it helps that i'm marrying Martin =)

Speaking of names. And all. Whatever. Who's going back to Lick Hung??

And i'm so depressed at the superciliousness of all those people who just have to so called "copy" others just coz they think its cool so. I won't be posting lyrics today. Just makes me sad to think of the materialistic society we live in

Quote of the day-

If you're born original, don't die a copy

- Adeline? or somebody.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I am currently super pissed off like shit so please excuse the vulgarities

But

Doesn't everyone hate people who only do things coz they think its cool? Like they act like they like some band only coz they think its cool or something but actually they don't. They're just EWs. Eternal Wannabes who can't just be them selves and like things they like as a person just coz they want to be "cool"

And yeah, i know tons of people hate me and think i'm what? Suck up and selfish or whatever. but guess what? I couldn't fucking give a damn because i am me and i love myself for who i am

And the thing i love about myself the most, is that i can love myself to the fullest and be myself. Me. Original. So what if i'm weird? I happen to take it as a compliment. So what if i can be a stuck up bimbotic bitch?

I'm bipolar and if you hate me just butt off, coz i'm gonna be myself and i'm never gonna change for anyone else.

I love who i am enough to be myself and if anyone wants to rip me off or whatever, like last time, when everyone would like what i like and act like its theirs making me hate almost everyone then whatever.

I;m gonna still be me. And even if others think i'm copying anyone else then i don't care too. As long as i know who i am then that's enough for me. I love myself my friends and family. Last time, i don't think i had any true friends. SUre i had friends but they weren't true friends so i don't count them as friends anyways.

True friends are people who love you for who you are. Even if i'm bipolar, conceited and offensively frank and direct. Even if i think people hate me. Even if i think the world hates me at least i know some people love me for who i am.

At least i wanna believe so but its so hard coz i'm such an easy person to hate. I'd prob hate myself if i didn't love my originality so much

But its alright. As long as i love myself then its enough for me.

I;m so fortunate in some ways. I love my life and i'm gonna live to the fullest

Who cares if there are so many people out there? Who act like we're friends but actually hate me? If you hate me then just say so. I won't mind the honesty. In fact i'd appreciate it. I'd love you for being honest to me. If there's one thing i hate, that's liars and people who do things or claim to like things only coz they think its cool

You think its cool? Puh lease. It makes youe such a loser and shows your true qualities to the world. A snuffling lil biatch who doesn't want to be herself coz she's afraid people won't like her, coz she wants to be important, she wants to be popular, she wants to be cool.

Whats so important bout popularity??? Be yourself or suck for the rest of your life

If you hate someone say so

If you love someone don't be afraid to say so

If you asked me whether i hated you, if i did, i would tell you the truth. And why?? Coz everyone deserves to know the truth

I;m not gonna make a further bitch of myself by acting like someone or something i'm not.

And maybe i was so mad i was gonna curse people, but now, i'm just gonna tell everyone to be themselves

Be yourself

Coz if you lose that vision. that essence of who you are, then you lose everything.

Everything

Peace

Ling Hui

I look ugly =.=

Listening to Ich Brech Aus by Tokio Hotel now =)

Aren't guys who sing in German SO DAMN DREAMY?? *drools*

Especially when he sang Ich Bin Da *sighs* i wanted to DIE. He was just THAT HOT. *sighs again*

Oh Bill, please come to Malaysia!!! I can go wait for you at the airport where you'll be arriving from Germany!! *squeals*

And and and, did i mention that my dad is considering bringing us to Germany for holidays!!

And i said i'd rather go to Italy, Venice or Greece or Japan but he said he went there before, and he said he can bring me to see TOKIO HOTEL if i want!! In GERMANY!!!! *jumps!!*

And that's why i love my parents sometimes, especially my dad =D
He actually wanted to ply me to Macau to watch Avril's concert before! Even though i just saw it the day before then we went online and saw she was performing and he went all "Want to see her again??" The n he almost bought the tickets until i stopped him =.=

I'm quite reasonable sometimes aren't i? =p

But then again my mum comes from a family of stupidly rich people, except they dunno how to use money, whereas my dad's side just wastes is all =.=

My mum told me today her dad had 30 FRIGGIN MILLION RINGGIT last time =.= except he lost it and blablabla which is such a waste!!!! I'd be rich now if my granpa still had 30 million *glares*

And then she told me her family's generation were all rich and blablabla and you know my uncle has EFF-ING 300 MILLION?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

WHY DO I NOT VISIT THEM MORE?!?!?

AND THEY ARE LEAVING IT ALL TO THEIR KIDS!!

And they really dunno how to use money. My aunty came over for surgery before, then she has 300 MILLION and she don't wanna eat Starbucks coz she said it was expensive when she has 300 EFFING MILLION

And i'm not gonna talk bout it anymore coz it just reminds me of what a destitute i am =.= Poor me. Literally

And i had chinese tuition this morning... Which was ok except i have another chinese tuition tomorrow morning and i'm having Drums and Guitar tonight and i haven't practised my Guitar yet. I'm playing some Promenade song. And i like this Grade 4 song i'm doing for drums now! Its called Cherry Bomb and its super fast which is super cool coz it gives you such a thrill!! Except i don't hit the drums hard enough according to my teacher which makes sense coz its always pretty soft when i play.

Chatting to honey who has been sleeping 12 hours a day whereas i have eye bags the size of craters on the moon =.=

AND

I WANT A BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGHHHH